I genuinely feel like i’m being watched, and tagged being on social websites. They were a way to express your feelings once. Now if you do that people scrutinize you. Tell you your wrong. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but I feel like I’ve lost mine.
Every time you say “I think..” you are altering someones opinion and their perspective on the matter and that is not okay. You have no right to undermine someone or change their views just to suit yourself.
The amount of times that I have been undermined and made feel stupid are uncountable. A lot of the times by people that I call my friends, though they don’t even know that they’re doing it.
There is a part of me that wants the world to end. A part that understands why people would want to take their life. It’s an easy escape but I’m so determined to prove people wrong. Determined to change my life for the good. At the moment, I haven’t got anything. I’m barely there anymore, I just don’t care about other peoples problems when they don’t tell me whats wrong even if I ask.
Maybe I’m selfish. I don’t know. What I do know is that I need to fight if I actually want to stop the inevitable and actually succeed in life. Right now I have no hope.
Being quiet is the one thing that I am good at.
All my life, I just stayed in the background, taking it all in. I learned how to avoid arguments and how to choose the right people to be with. I learned from other peoples mistakes on how not to act.
But the sad realization is that just because I learned it doesn’t mean anyone else has.
It disgusts me to know that some people just don’t know how to treat people.
Someone that I’m so close to, just ignores me when shes around certain people. Why? Is it because I am not good enough for those people or because she just doesn’t care about me.
She may not think it but it hurts me. Its happened time and time again.
At this point I’m just waiting for her to get up and leave. To be quite honest, I wouldn’t really care.
I feel like I’m surrounded by fake people who are just desperate to fit in and would do anything to do so. Take a break and just be real for 5 minutes so that I can figure out who I can actually trust.